Straddling two worlds...

Becca, a close friend I made while in Uganda, sent me these two quotes today. They describe almost perfectly how both of us currently feel. They're from a book called "Hope in the Dark" by Jena Lee.....

1st quote: "I straddle two worlds. One foot in America. One foot in Africa. My heart is split. It's an awkward place to be, as it stretches the legs upon which I stand. I would prefer to be in one place instead of straddled awkwardly across an ocean. Contrary to American doctrine, however, i think we are supposed to be a little bit uncomfortable as we live within the tensions of this complicated world."

~It's true, I believe part of my heart is still in Uganda. . . with my family, the Jjembas, with my USP leaders, at UCU, in the streets of Mukono, with the cleaning lady Robinah, and V-money our driver, and all of the other amazing people I met while I was there. The goal is to integrate both worlds into one, but that's easier said than done. Afterall, America really isn't anything like Africa, and the concept of simple living seems to be completely lost here.

2nd quote: "It would be wrong for us to close our eyes and our hearts to everything that we have learned. Our experiences won't let us do that. Our passion and anger and hope don't give us permission to abandon these experiences, because the time we have spent in Africa is beautiful and tragic, rich and life-giving, horrible and yet redemptive."

~Horrible isn't a word I'd use to describe my overall experience in Uganda, but I certainly remember going through days and experiences thinking I was having the worst day of my life. Part of me worries constantly that because I forced myself immediately back in to the "real" world by coming back to school less than 48 hours after arriving back in America, I also forced myself to forget about Africa and push aside everything I learned. But I'm realizing that's impossible. As hard as it may be to figure out what changes are taking place and what all I learned while I was in Uganda, it's absolutely impossible to ignore them completely. Because I did change, and I am different, and I'm learning more and more just how exciting and frustrating that is. It frustrates me beyond belief to question what on earth I went to Uganda for, to try and figure out how I'm different, and to try and make time to think about Uganda and figure those things out in the midst of this crazy American lifestyle. But it comforts me to know that forgetting about those experiences is impossible. . . for they are forever ingrained in my mind and are now a part of who I am.

Just some thoughts....now it's time to get back to homework and grading papers...oh how I miss the days when at this time (9:50PM) we'd be sitting down for a family dinner in front of the tv, ready to watch "Mis Tres Hermanas" or "Nunca te Dire Adios" or "Secreto de Amor." Now instead i'm sitting down alone in my room to work on hours of grading papers and working on homework. Such is life in America....