‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’" ~Matthew 22:37-39
Often when I journal, I find I don't even know where to begin. So much is going on inside my mind at the time that it's hard to choose what to write about and how to sort through it all. Today is one of those times. But I think I'll choose love.
As I spend time thinking about the people I met in Uganda, I think about love. I don't think I ever came across a person who didn't love in Uganda (ok, so the man who asked me to come home and lie with him and the men who constantly yelled out "Mzungu, I need your love" may have been loving in a different way, but still, love was in the air...). I think the four months I spent interacting with the people of Uganda helped me break away from my legalistic view of Christianity. How often I've felt like a "bad" Christian because I forgot to read my Bible or pray. I made Christianity out to be a giant list of do's and don'ts. I had my daily "Christian to-do list" and if I neglected anything on the list, I felt guilty and unworthy of calling myself a Christian. But the people of Uganda taught me a different way of living.
"What does it mean to be a Christian?" I asked my host-brother.
"Well, I think it means that you really love God. And that you really work hard to love others," he responded.
Now, I've heard that philosophy before. Love God, love others; that is the meaning of life. But did I ever believe it could really be that simple? I was so caught up in the to-do list that I overlooked love completely. The love shown to me by the Ugandans I lived with is a love I'll never forget. They poured their hearts out for us. They devoted themselves to us. They loved us before they even knew us. They loved without hesitation. Relationships are such a key aspect of life in Uganda, much more so than they seem to be here. Relationships trump all. You have a meeting to go to at 9:00, but your neighbor shows up at your door to visit at 8:30, you better forget about that meeting. Your neighbor is far more important. Now I'm not sure how well that method actually works, and it was definitely the cause of some frustrating situations now and then, but the concept behind it is beautiful. Investing in people is far more important than in our job or anything else we might involve ourselves with. Essentially, the Bible tells us that if we fail to love our brothers, we fail to love God. I'm not sure I ever quite got that before....I would tell myself, "well, just because this person gets on my nerves and it's hard for me to love them doesn't mean I don't love God!" I'm not always great at loving everyone. Some people really rub me the wrong way. Some people are just incredibly different from me and I don't understand them. Some people are just plain annoying! But God calls us to love them all. . . to love the least of them. This new perspective on Christianity tells me that, in a way, loving others IS loving God because God is love. Perhaps that's not completely accurate, but I believe it to be far more true than I did before I left.
It's all about others. Abby, our leader's wife, commented the last day with words that I will never forget....
"It's not that I am forgiven, but that I forgive. It's not that I'm comforted, but that I comfort. Giving up ourselves and laying your own interests and needs aside is true Christianity. We must hand our selfishness regularly over to the cross. It takes a true conversion of self to love others genuinely. Relationships need to be our focus in life. Relationship with God, relationship with people. That is all that matters."
I don't know why this topic came to mind today. Maybe because I miss those people. I miss Robinah, our cleaning lady, who was possibly the most loving woman I have ever met in my life. She poured herself out for us day after day and expressed a love towards us I'm not sure I've ever seen in anyone before. I miss my family, the Jjembas, as they continually chose to love me and treat me as one of their own. I miss our leaders, who selflessly put their needs aside to help us, to listen to us, and to encourage us. I even miss the children I passed every day on the way to and from school who, at the beginning of the semester, yelled out "Mzungu, mzungu," but by the time I left were yelling "Betay, Betay!" Love was all around us. Not once did I hear a Ugandan gossip about someone else, speak badly of someone, or really even mention anyone else. All they did was love. And it was amazing. I need to learn to love like that. I need to learn to put my Christian to-do list aside and simply focus on loving God and loving others. That's what it's about.....relationship. Love. Oh how I miss their love.
As I spend time thinking about the people I met in Uganda, I think about love. I don't think I ever came across a person who didn't love in Uganda (ok, so the man who asked me to come home and lie with him and the men who constantly yelled out "Mzungu, I need your love" may have been loving in a different way, but still, love was in the air...). I think the four months I spent interacting with the people of Uganda helped me break away from my legalistic view of Christianity. How often I've felt like a "bad" Christian because I forgot to read my Bible or pray. I made Christianity out to be a giant list of do's and don'ts. I had my daily "Christian to-do list" and if I neglected anything on the list, I felt guilty and unworthy of calling myself a Christian. But the people of Uganda taught me a different way of living.
"What does it mean to be a Christian?" I asked my host-brother.
"Well, I think it means that you really love God. And that you really work hard to love others," he responded.
Now, I've heard that philosophy before. Love God, love others; that is the meaning of life. But did I ever believe it could really be that simple? I was so caught up in the to-do list that I overlooked love completely. The love shown to me by the Ugandans I lived with is a love I'll never forget. They poured their hearts out for us. They devoted themselves to us. They loved us before they even knew us. They loved without hesitation. Relationships are such a key aspect of life in Uganda, much more so than they seem to be here. Relationships trump all. You have a meeting to go to at 9:00, but your neighbor shows up at your door to visit at 8:30, you better forget about that meeting. Your neighbor is far more important. Now I'm not sure how well that method actually works, and it was definitely the cause of some frustrating situations now and then, but the concept behind it is beautiful. Investing in people is far more important than in our job or anything else we might involve ourselves with. Essentially, the Bible tells us that if we fail to love our brothers, we fail to love God. I'm not sure I ever quite got that before....I would tell myself, "well, just because this person gets on my nerves and it's hard for me to love them doesn't mean I don't love God!" I'm not always great at loving everyone. Some people really rub me the wrong way. Some people are just incredibly different from me and I don't understand them. Some people are just plain annoying! But God calls us to love them all. . . to love the least of them. This new perspective on Christianity tells me that, in a way, loving others IS loving God because God is love. Perhaps that's not completely accurate, but I believe it to be far more true than I did before I left.
It's all about others. Abby, our leader's wife, commented the last day with words that I will never forget....
"It's not that I am forgiven, but that I forgive. It's not that I'm comforted, but that I comfort. Giving up ourselves and laying your own interests and needs aside is true Christianity. We must hand our selfishness regularly over to the cross. It takes a true conversion of self to love others genuinely. Relationships need to be our focus in life. Relationship with God, relationship with people. That is all that matters."
I don't know why this topic came to mind today. Maybe because I miss those people. I miss Robinah, our cleaning lady, who was possibly the most loving woman I have ever met in my life. She poured herself out for us day after day and expressed a love towards us I'm not sure I've ever seen in anyone before. I miss my family, the Jjembas, as they continually chose to love me and treat me as one of their own. I miss our leaders, who selflessly put their needs aside to help us, to listen to us, and to encourage us. I even miss the children I passed every day on the way to and from school who, at the beginning of the semester, yelled out "Mzungu, mzungu," but by the time I left were yelling "Betay, Betay!" Love was all around us. Not once did I hear a Ugandan gossip about someone else, speak badly of someone, or really even mention anyone else. All they did was love. And it was amazing. I need to learn to love like that. I need to learn to put my Christian to-do list aside and simply focus on loving God and loving others. That's what it's about.....relationship. Love. Oh how I miss their love.
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