Life's been challenging lately. I thought last semester in Uganda was tough, but this semester has presented it's own challenges I never even imagined I'd be facing. Health concerns keep me up each night and make it hard to function some days. Today is one of those days. School seems overwhelming at the moment and I wonder if things will ever get done. Living with my two roommates this semester isn't working out the way we'd all planned, and life just really seems to be taking it's toll on me.
And then I begin reading through parts of my Uganda journal because I'm speaking twice in classes this week about my time there, and I come to a quote from an MCC worker.
"Peace is when you can sleep in your hut without locking your door and wake up in the morning and didn't get beaten."
I read that and realize just how much I miss Uganda and all of the people there. Because they never took the time to complain about their problems. They lived lives of joy no matter what they were facing. No matter what challenges came their way, they simply gave thanks to the Lord and remained joyful, always being confident that the Lord would provide.
Maybe I have reason to complain, maybe I don't. I keep telling everyone I'd just like to feel "normal" again for one day and be free from whatever health issues I'm facing. I'd just like to know that I'm going to graduate and figure out what I'm supposed to do. I'd just like to make it through the week. But if I really stop and pause to think about that definition of peace compared to my own, I might realize that I already have peace. I can rest peacefully in the arms of my Savior because He promises to provide for me what I need, and to give rest to the weary and strength to the weak.
We recently filled out our housing forms for next semester. I remember checking the box last year at this time that said "I will not be attending" and explaining that I'd be studying abroad. I remember being nervous and terrified of what I was getting myself into. And now that it's over, I wish I could be checking that box again, going back to the place that taught me about peace and dependence on God. I sure do miss it there. But until I'm called back, I suppose all I can do is let my experiences there continue to teach me here.
