Well, for many of you, I hear the weather outside is frightful, and schools are closed because of the snow (ok, maybe just those of you in Iowa). Here the weather is 75 or 80 every day, and sadly, as much as I pray for one, we will never have a snow day. Now, I know what you're thinking: "I would love to be enjoying 80 degree weather day in and day out, instead of this awful snow and miserable cold!" But let me tell you, I think it's one of those things you don't really know how much you miss it until it's gone. My roommate and I watched a Christmas movie last night, and snow covered the ground, and we turned to each other and sighed. Oh what we wouldn't give to have some snow right now. Sure, maybe I don't want it for 3-4 months, as is usually the case in the Indiana/Illinois winters, and maybe I don't want the -20 degree weather that blessed us last year in Illinois, but I miss seasons. Here, it's either hot and dry, or rainy and "crisp" (meaning, oh, 65 degrees at the lowest). I miss snow.
Enough on the weather, though. That was not the intent of my update. Moving on, earlier this week I attended a spiritual gifts seminar with some of the other WGM missionaries. During the seminar, I realized how little I know about spiritual gifts. Did you know there are somewhere between 23-30 separate spiritual gifts listed in the Bible? I had no idea. We completed the 125 question test, and after calculating the results, my highest score was missionary. I didn't even know missionary was a spiritual gift, but this test indicated that it is. My next three were mercy, giving, and encouragement. Well, missionary makes sense. I'm living in Uganda, as a temporary missionary afterall. However, not all that surprising to me was that one of my lowest scores was teaching. Now, I realize there are different gifts involving teaching, and that teaching spiritually is much different than teaching a math classroom, but I couldn't help but laugh. Anyway, after another discussion with the principal about staying for another year, I really began to think about this missionary "gift" and what it means. Maybe it's really true. I LOVE living in another culture. I LOVE Uganda. I believe it was only three days after I returned home to the States last year that I started to feel a strong desire in my heart to return someday. There is something about living in another culture that absolutely fascinates me. There is something about becoming part of another culture that I can't get enough of, and that I long to do more often. Last year's experience here with my host family was certainly not easy, but for those four months, I was living as a Ugandan. I showered from a bucked. I used a hole in the ground, or a bucket, for my toilet. I usually had no electricity. I ate whatever my family placed in front of me, and I LOVED all of it (minus the cow intestine). Sure, it was tough at times, and I certainly had to stretch myself, but it was so worth it, and in the end, I LOVED it. I didn't mind showering from a bucket. I didn't mind squatting to use the bathroom. I learned to love the simple life. The conversations I had with people on the way to and from school were incredible. Maybe this missionary thing is really for me.
I've written about this before, several times actually, but one thing I'm really struggling with this time around is making myself a part of the culture. Yes, simply by living in Uganda I've placed myself in another culture, but it's somewhat as if I'm in this sub-culture or missionaries, and the "real" Ugandan culture is still far outside of my world. Last year one of the most rewarding conversations took place walking home from school when one of our neighbors stopped me and said, "Many foreign missionaries come here and get to know us and minister to us, but they never really become one of us. They're not willing to live like us. They're not willing to step down a notch. It's encouraging to see you living as one of us....willing to be content with what little we have. Thank you for becoming one of us." Ok, I promise, I'm NOT saying that to brag about my willingness to live under those conditions for four months. I don't think it's a matter worth bragging of. I say that only because right now I almost feel trapped. I'm living an American life in Africa, when I really desire to be living an African life in Africa. Yea, it's nice to have running water and a real toilet. I'm not complaining that I have nice accomodations, and that I'm safe. I miss community, though. If I learned anything about Ugandans last year, it's that they are all about community. Visitors show up at all hours and are immediately greeted with love and cheer. Everyone knows everyone. I don't even know who lives next door to me because my house, and every house around me, is surrounded by a giant wall. I miss the simple life.
Ok, all that being said, I promise I'm not trying to portray a negative view of the wonderful missionaries who love living here in these wonderful accomodations. I don't necessarily think there's anything wrong with it--for them. I'm just not sure it's right for me. I miss simplicity. And I know that there ARE opportunities for me to seek out and be involved in cultural activities, I Just need to be willing to find them.
This is already far longer than expected, so I'll end with a few prayer requests.
1. Pray for guidance on whether or not I should stay here for another year. I won't say too much, but it's a possibility, and it's often mentioned, and I'd certainly appreciate any extra prayer in that huge decision!
2. Pray for opportunities to get involved in the culture. Pray for courage to seek out opportunities that may be available.
3. Pray for school in these last few days of the semester. It seems each day is getting tougher and tougher to be joyful and love these kids. They're great kids, but they sure don't care about math....
4. Pray for health. The past two days have been pretty miserable: high fever on and off, terrible chills/shaking uncontrollably, headache, muscle aches, tired all the time. These are crucial days for review at school, and it wouldn't be the best to miss them.
Thanks to those of you who actually read this, for your encouragement and support, and most of all, for your continued prayers. I couldn't get by without them.
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