8 months overdue

Well, I am almost certain no one reads this any longer, since I have been home from Uganda for nearly eight months now, but for some reason I decided to update. So here are my thoughts on the last 8 months:

God always has a plan, and His plan always works out.

That really about sums it up. I came home from Uganda unexpectedly, and for quite some time, I wanted nothing but to be back in that beautiful country, the culture that undoubtedly will hold a place in my heart forever. It was a struggle to find friends, to feel connected, and to re-associate myself with the American culture. I missed everything about Uganda--from the food to the friends to the crazy boda rides through traffic. I still do. I believe part of me will always miss that place. However, very soon after I came home, my mom had shoulder surgery and could not cook, clean, shower, dress, etc. She needed extra help, and because I was home early, I was able to provide that help. Soon after that I became reacquainted with some old friends at church, made some new friends, and began to live a "normal" life again. I applied for over thirty teaching jobs, and one random organization that serves developmentally disabled adults. Not one of the 30+ teaching applications lead anywhere, but God lead me to the organization for the disabled adults. I was skeptical at first, but it was a job, and I needed one. Despite my doubts, I LOVED the job from day one. Sure, I got bit and hit, had things thrown at me, and had my hair pulled, but I love it. Yesterday that company closed, but God provided again, and I'm currently still working with the same clients at the new company.

My heart ultimately longs to be back in Africa, but in the meantime, I'm thankful to have wonderful friends and a job that I look forward to each day, and I am most of all thankful that even when things don't work out as we expect them to, God's plans are perfect, and He knows what He's doing.

I don't have much time, as internet access for me is now VERY limited. I'll just highlight a few stories since the last time I updated.

-Went to Jinja for an intense, but amazing retreat and stayed in a hut right next to the Nile River. My matatu (15 passenger, but actually usually more like 20-23 passenger taxi van) had an accident on the way back. Glass shattered, people screamed, I got out and took a boda boda the rest of the way :)

- Graded over 3000 questions on final exams. The students actually did somewhat decently. Some failed, but some passed, which was a nice surprise :) They must have at least learned something!

- Had a wonderful Christmas with WGM missionaries and an amazing Christmas production at a church in town.

-Spontaneously decided to take a trip to Kenya with my roommate. One Saturday over break we decided we didn't want to sit at home all week, so we bought bus tickets to Mombasa, Kenya. We left Monday evening at 6pm and arrived Wednesday morning at 5am. Yes, it took 35 hours. The police stopped our bus for a safety check an hour outside of Nairobi, and apparently our bus was not safe. So for 9 hours we sat in the middle of what seemed like a desert, burned our skin, and eventually ended up spending the evening with some of our WGM missionary friends, then bought a new bus ticket and left at 10pm that night for the rest of the journey. We stayed at a "swamp-like" area the first day (Mombasa is on the Indian Ocean and is BEAUTIFUL--if you know where to stay and are willing to spend more than $5 per night)! We slept in a HOT tent full of bugs and decided to try a new place the next day. We found a place for pretty cheap right on the beach. Stayed there on New Years Eve, watched fireworks, and listened to obnoxious loud music all night long. We left at 6am Friday morning and got back to Kampala at 11:30am Saturday. It was better than staying at home for the week, and now we can say we've been to Kenya :)

-Completed the first two weeks back at school. I'm not sure teaching is for me. It's better than it was before, but I'm still not sure. We shall see.

-Don't have much internet access anymore. I can only use the internet on the computers at school, which are ridiculously slow and sometimes the internet there doesn't work. Don't expect as many blog entries from me :-(

-My classroom door seems to break every other day. In the past two weeks, I have gone through four keys. One benefit to not having glass in the windows is I can just pull the bars off the window and climb in that way, which I had to do, oh, maybe 25+ times this week. It's quite humorous, and slightly annoying.

-Moved into the new house, and got the new roommate. She's wonderful! The new house has an incredible view, and my room is blue with giant purple polka dots. LOVE it :)

- Didn't have water, internet, phones, or an unlocked classroom door at school today. Such is life in Uganda.

- Tricia, my sister, arrives TONIGHT and will be here for a MONTH working at a clinic in town. I'm pretty excited to see her, and to go on safari with her!

My time is nearly up. If you feel led to pray, pray for school, teaching, health (it's good for now!), adjusting to the new home, and for life in general. I still LOVE Uganda, but need to really spend time thinking about decisions for the future. To stay or not to stay, to teach or not to teach. Thanks for your prayers and support!

Christmas--NOT just another day!

As I sit in my living room this day after Christmas in shorts and a t-shirt, I'm reminded how different this Christmas was from all of the others. For twenty-one years I've gathered together with family, enjoyed the lights and decorations, enjoyed Christmas Eve services and Christmas productions, exchanged gifts, and simply enjoyed being in the presence of family and friends. This year, though, the lights and decorations were slim, and I was halfway across the world from the family I normally spent Christmas with. While I did spend a few minutes shivering on Christmas day when it was unusually cool (about 69 degrees) and raining, it wasn't the same as the cold and snow that usually accompanies Christmas day. Yes, this Christmas was different, but it certainly wasn't a disappointment.

Two nights before Christmas I enjoyed an amazing Christmas production with over 200 participants at the Watoto Church in Kampala. It was one of those "This doesn't feel like Africa" moments with all of the technology and the wonderful talent, and as I sat there dripping in sweat (the place was PACKED with people, and the balcony was exceptionally hot that evening), I couldn't help but expect to walk outside afterward and see the snow falling, and the temperatures dropping. Of course, that wasn't the case. It was hot and humid when I left. But the program was amazing, and I was thankful to have a program so similar to home.

Christmas Eve the WGM missionaries got together for a dinner and gift exchange. There were about 18 people in all, including the kids. Christmas morning the same group had a Christmas brunch. I must say, if I have to be halfway across the world from my family on Christmas, I'm certainly thankful that I can be here with such a loving, encouraging, Christ-like group of people! I was SO thankful not to be sitting at home alone on Christmas, and so thankful these wonderful people invited us to be a part of their Christmas! The friendships God has provided me since I came in August have been wonderful blessings in so many ways. I am thankful for every one of them!

Christmas was different this year. My Christmas tree is 8 inches tall. Churches here didn't really sing Christmas carols or talk about advent. My presents consisted of Betty Crocker chocolate frosting, a box of Kraft Mac n Cheese (two things not available here, so to receive them as gifts was pretty exciting!), and two beaded necklaces. Instead of spending Christmas with my family, I talked with them on the phone, thanks to the amazing technology of Skype! I was able to talk with both sets of grandparents, one sister, and my parents. Instead of helping Mom make the Christmas cookies (which usually mostly involved me eating the dough when she wasn't looking), I attempted to make my own cookies, and only somewhat succeeded (baking sure is different here). Yes, Christmas was different, but in its own way, it was wonderful.

What I discovered this Christmas is that when you remove the traditions, the family get-togethers, the lights and decorations, the presents, and the materialism of the Christmas season, you are left only with the most important part of Christmas: JESUS! Without all of the normal Christmas traditions, it would be simple to let Christmas pass by as just another day, but Christmas is certainly NOT just another day! Christmas is the day Christ came to earth to save us, and without that day, we would all be lost. I'm thankful for the friends who welcomed me in to their Christmas celebrations this year. I'm thankful for the friendships I've developed since being here. I'm thankful for the technology that allows me to talk with my family on Christmas. I'm thankful for amazing Christmas performances. Most of all, though, I'm thankful that our Savior came, and I'm thankful that Christmas was not just another day.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas with friends and family, and enjoyed celebrating together. Take time to relax during this time off, because soon enough (far too soon, if you ask me) we'll all be back to work and begin the crazy schedules of a new year. Merry Christmas, friends!

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow....oh wait, I live in Africa.

Well, for many of you, I hear the weather outside is frightful, and schools are closed because of the snow (ok, maybe just those of you in Iowa). Here the weather is 75 or 80 every day, and sadly, as much as I pray for one, we will never have a snow day. Now, I know what you're thinking: "I would love to be enjoying 80 degree weather day in and day out, instead of this awful snow and miserable cold!" But let me tell you, I think it's one of those things you don't really know how much you miss it until it's gone. My roommate and I watched a Christmas movie last night, and snow covered the ground, and we turned to each other and sighed. Oh what we wouldn't give to have some snow right now. Sure, maybe I don't want it for 3-4 months, as is usually the case in the Indiana/Illinois winters, and maybe I don't want the -20 degree weather that blessed us last year in Illinois, but I miss seasons. Here, it's either hot and dry, or rainy and "crisp" (meaning, oh, 65 degrees at the lowest). I miss snow.

Enough on the weather, though. That was not the intent of my update. Moving on, earlier this week I attended a spiritual gifts seminar with some of the other WGM missionaries. During the seminar, I realized how little I know about spiritual gifts. Did you know there are somewhere between 23-30 separate spiritual gifts listed in the Bible? I had no idea. We completed the 125 question test, and after calculating the results, my highest score was missionary. I didn't even know missionary was a spiritual gift, but this test indicated that it is. My next three were mercy, giving, and encouragement. Well, missionary makes sense. I'm living in Uganda, as a temporary missionary afterall. However, not all that surprising to me was that one of my lowest scores was teaching. Now, I realize there are different gifts involving teaching, and that teaching spiritually is much different than teaching a math classroom, but I couldn't help but laugh. Anyway, after another discussion with the principal about staying for another year, I really began to think about this missionary "gift" and what it means. Maybe it's really true. I LOVE living in another culture. I LOVE Uganda. I believe it was only three days after I returned home to the States last year that I started to feel a strong desire in my heart to return someday. There is something about living in another culture that absolutely fascinates me. There is something about becoming part of another culture that I can't get enough of, and that I long to do more often. Last year's experience here with my host family was certainly not easy, but for those four months, I was living as a Ugandan. I showered from a bucked. I used a hole in the ground, or a bucket, for my toilet. I usually had no electricity. I ate whatever my family placed in front of me, and I LOVED all of it (minus the cow intestine). Sure, it was tough at times, and I certainly had to stretch myself, but it was so worth it, and in the end, I LOVED it. I didn't mind showering from a bucket. I didn't mind squatting to use the bathroom. I learned to love the simple life. The conversations I had with people on the way to and from school were incredible. Maybe this missionary thing is really for me.

I've written about this before, several times actually, but one thing I'm really struggling with this time around is making myself a part of the culture. Yes, simply by living in Uganda I've placed myself in another culture, but it's somewhat as if I'm in this sub-culture or missionaries, and the "real" Ugandan culture is still far outside of my world. Last year one of the most rewarding conversations took place walking home from school when one of our neighbors stopped me and said, "Many foreign missionaries come here and get to know us and minister to us, but they never really become one of us. They're not willing to live like us. They're not willing to step down a notch. It's encouraging to see you living as one of us....willing to be content with what little we have. Thank you for becoming one of us." Ok, I promise, I'm NOT saying that to brag about my willingness to live under those conditions for four months. I don't think it's a matter worth bragging of. I say that only because right now I almost feel trapped. I'm living an American life in Africa, when I really desire to be living an African life in Africa. Yea, it's nice to have running water and a real toilet. I'm not complaining that I have nice accomodations, and that I'm safe. I miss community, though. If I learned anything about Ugandans last year, it's that they are all about community. Visitors show up at all hours and are immediately greeted with love and cheer. Everyone knows everyone. I don't even know who lives next door to me because my house, and every house around me, is surrounded by a giant wall. I miss the simple life.

Ok, all that being said, I promise I'm not trying to portray a negative view of the wonderful missionaries who love living here in these wonderful accomodations. I don't necessarily think there's anything wrong with it--for them. I'm just not sure it's right for me. I miss simplicity. And I know that there ARE opportunities for me to seek out and be involved in cultural activities, I Just need to be willing to find them.

This is already far longer than expected, so I'll end with a few prayer requests.

1. Pray for guidance on whether or not I should stay here for another year. I won't say too much, but it's a possibility, and it's often mentioned, and I'd certainly appreciate any extra prayer in that huge decision!
2. Pray for opportunities to get involved in the culture. Pray for courage to seek out opportunities that may be available.
3. Pray for school in these last few days of the semester. It seems each day is getting tougher and tougher to be joyful and love these kids. They're great kids, but they sure don't care about math....
4. Pray for health. The past two days have been pretty miserable: high fever on and off, terrible chills/shaking uncontrollably, headache, muscle aches, tired all the time. These are crucial days for review at school, and it wouldn't be the best to miss them.

Thanks to those of you who actually read this, for your encouragement and support, and most of all, for your continued prayers. I couldn't get by without them.

Looking back: learning lessons

Last Thursday, Thanksgiving day, I left school early (yes, I said school--we still had to teach since there is no reason to celebrate Thanksgiving in Uganda) took a boda to City Square where I met Sharon, found a matatu, and we were on our way to Mukono. We were going to attend USP's (Uganda Studies Program, the study abroad program we both attended last year) Thanksgiving celebration. When we arrived, there were probably over 100 people there, and we commented on how strange it was to return to campus not knowing anyone. The last time we were at that place, we were surrounded by 35 other American students who we spent a semester learning to love Uganda with. By the time we arrived, most of the feast was already gone. We were able to eat some turkey (not as you would imagine it, though) and gravy. The dessert table made up for not having any food left, though. Since we were last in line for food and didn't get much dinner, we were first in line for the desserts, of which there were probably 30+ different kinds! This is, I'm convinced, one reason why it pays to be last. "The first shall be last, and the last shall be first." Missing out on the mashed potatoes, rolls, stuffing, and vegetables was worth it in order to be first in line for the wonderful desserts! :) Anyway, I'm not typically one to start conversations with complete strangers. In fact, I would normally be the one over on the side watching everyone else talk. That night was different, though, because when you live with a family in Uganda for four months, you immediately have a common bond, no matter how different you are. I sat with several IMME (missions emphasis, homestay students) and we shared stories from our semesters. It's one thing to try to share all of my stories with friends back home who can only try to imagine what it was like to experience them, but it's quite another to share them with those who have themselves been through the experiences. They know exactly what I'm talking about. They can relate. They can laugh about the crazy adventures that no one else could ever imagine enduring, and they can be joyful about the lessons you learn as a result of going through them. Needless to say, it was an incredible night filled with laughter and lots of story-telling.

I also had the opportunity to meet the student who is staying with my host family this semester. The conversations I had with her turned out to be more of a blessing than expected. After hearing some of her comments and stories, I realized that her experience is not far from mine. She began wondering if it would ever get better, and slowly by slowly, things did eventually change. Of course, the family makeup is different for her, as our sisters have moved out, and our dad has a job now. She has her own room. I shared it with three sisters. Let me just say, it would have been MUCH easier for me to get used to using "the bucket" at night if I hadn't had three other girls watching me :) Anyway, I think the best result of the conversation was realizing that it wasn't just me. All semester last year I remember wondering if my family-life would have been better had I been more outgoing or more of a conversationalist. I wondered if I was doing something wrong. I constantly thought I was the problem. Talking with Jill, the student this semester, made me realize it's not just me. She is experiencing many of the same circumstances. It's just our family. They're fabulous, loving, wonderful people, but they're not the greatest at sitting around and talking. They sure do care about their host students, though, and they enjoy having us. Jill says they talk about "Nabachwa" (my Ugandan name) all the time. I assume they'll do the same with her once she leaves. They loved us, they just had a different way of showing it. That was an important realization.

I'm amazed at how much I continue to learn as a result of my experiences here a year and a half ago. Just being back in that town, with those people, reminded me so much of what it was like to live there for four months. I was once again reminded of the simple life, and of the joy we experienced just by being present. For a semester in our lives, we didn't need "things" to please us. We didn't need electricity, or a toilet, or running water. We didn't need variety in our food (though matoke did get old sometimes). We watched our families live with so little, and yet live with such joy, and we learned to be content. I've written this before, but being back in Uganda, and living in such different circumstances, I can't deny that sometimes I really miss that simplicity. I constantly learned lessons as a result of my daily experiences. I constantly interacted with the Ugandan culture. I rarely walked home from school without having a conversation with some woman or child (or unwanted man, in some cases). I stopped on the side of the road and played soccer with a group of kids I'd never met before. I provided shelter under my umbrella for a child who was soaked and just trying to make it to school. I learned to experience joy as a result of the small things, like when the cafeteria didn't run out of spoons and we didn't have to use our hands to eat rice and beans. The simple life became my life, and at times I hated it and wished I could just sit down on a nice toilet, or stand under a running shower, but overall, I loved it. I loved not looking in a mirror in the morning. I loved watching my family cook dinner on our outdoor stove. I loved watching my brothers chase all of the animals into our kitchen when the sun went down. I was content.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to say that I'm not content with life now. I'm just constantly reminded of that semester a year and a half ago when I experienced a different life, a life not many have the chance to experience, but everyone would certainly benefit from. I miss simplicity. I miss interacting with the people around me. I miss people being ok with silence, and simply enjoying being present. I'm thankful for that semester. I'm thankful for my host family, and the way they showed me how to be content and joyful, even with nothing. I miss the kids on the side of the road who accepted me and let me play soccer with them. I miss simplicity.

Thursday night I was able to spend the night at Brooke's house, so I wouldn't have to travel back to Kampala in the dark. Brooke was the IMME leader during my semester, and we grew to be great friends. It was fabulous to spend time with her and catch up. You'd think when you only live an hour away, we'd spend more time with each other, but this was only our second visit since I arrived in early August. She's a wonderful woman full of wisdom and love. It was a much needed break from the life of school-home-school-home day after day after day.

Friday morning I came back to Kampala just in time for the WGM Thanksgiving celebration. I think the menu was very similar to a Thanksgiving meal I'd have at home with family. We had it all--turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, green beans, rolls, and most importantly, lots of dessert! :) It was a little disappointing to know that I was missing family time at home, but I'm thankful for the wonderful community I have here with WGM missionaries, and if I couldn't be home for Thanksgiving, I was more than ok with spending it here with them.

Hope your Thanksgiving was wonderful and that you are looking forward to the Christmas season! Three weeks left of school. Four exams to write. Seven tests to give and then grade. Ten days of teaching. Three days of exams. And then, two glorious weeks of Christmas vacation. I can't believe how quickly this semester has gone, but I can't deny that I'll be quite thankful for a break. For now, I continue to go day by day, hoping each day is a little better than the day before.